FIRST OFFICER'S LOG

        Star Trek and Babylon 5 are failing our
youth!!!
        As a sixteen year old fan of both shows I
sincerely believe they are failing me and my
generation. They are not doing nearly enough to corrupt
my generation. No cursing. No explicit sex. No
gratuitous scenes of grown men walking to the bathroom
naked. It is sad. We, fans of both shows, must unite
and see to it that more supposed minors are further
corrupted. We must see to it that every male has shown
some butt cleavege; every woman has worn a
unneccesarily low cut, tight outfit; every alien
believes clothing to be evil. All alien woman should
look like Marina Sirtis and act Madonna. More strange
alien mating rituals that vaguely resemble Basic
Instinct. In this time of desperate action we need
desperate measures.
        Characters are the key. If TPTB have the
characters go thru a few select changes we could usher
in a brand new era of TV. Have Cassidy Yates return to
DS9 as a guy after passing thru a sexual anomaly. Then
Sisko will really act like a southern preacher. Have
Sheridan fall in love with Garabaldi. Have O'Brien
leave Keiko and marry Bashir. Janeway and Chakotay?
Nah. Janeway and Torres? Definently. Ivanova and
Marcus? Nah. Delenn and Sheridan? Nah. Ivanova and
Delenn in zero gravity with Sheridan recording(for
posterity of course)? Hell yeah. Kes and Neelix? Yuck!!
Kes and everybody else on board at the same
time(including the Holodoc and Janeway) OH YEAH! This
is what my genereation needs.
        Join me in the corruption of my generation. It
to large a task to be left to President Clinton. He has
done all he can. The congress has tried even harder but
private citzens must contribute the rest. Without you
an entire generation might grow believing in morals and
god. We can't have that!! An entire generation will
believe that sex is something to be done when in love
and after careful consideration. WE CANNOT ALLOW THIS.
Star Trek and Bab5 are in unique positions to influence
and prevent these conditions from taking hold in an
entire generation.
        Trekkers put aside your feeling that B5 is a
pathetic space melodrama with wooden acting and a
pathetic storyline no matter how far reaching. B5ers
put aside your feelings that Trek is fallen icon with
poorly defined characters, cheesy models, bad writing
and terrible gimicks. We must put these aside and work
for a greater cause. We must see to that my generation
is corrupted beyond purification. Write letters. Run
naked across the Paramount and/or the Warner Bros lot.
Do what you must to call media attention to this grave
problem. Send e-mail containing thinly veiled threats.
Call Rush Limbaugh (who had absolutely nothing to talk
about today) and demand he begin an investigation.
        Thank you. Please remember Tribbles and Vorlons
hold the answers to the universe. They wear no
clothes!!!

46.The truth is out there.
The problem is I don't want
to find it.
Capt. Cronan Thompson