More than you ever wanted to know about

NORMAN!

(The sadistic, three-inch-tall, blue elf who resides upon Cronan's
shoulder and bears an uncanny resemblance to Calvin)

(by Cronan Thompson)


Norman is a fully acknowledged figment of my overactive imagination. In many ways he represent the dark side of my personality. Unfortunately, the light side was already a bit gloomy, so in the interest of stability he became a semi-autonomous unit capable of evil acts that I wouldn't perform... unless I felt like it.

His evil knowing no limit, he is personally responsible for Voyager's continued existence and has admitted to being responsible for the Christian Coalition, Pauly Shores' movies, Bill Clinton's presidency, Strom Thurmond's immortality and my last 4 "relationships".

Norman is quite possibly a Junior god although I have no direct evidence of this. He also designed the Pocket Shuttlecraft, my vehicle of choice.

Some have associated the fact that Norman reportedly doubles in size when I experience and extreme emotion (be it arousal or anger) with my penis. This is ridiculous. I don't have a penis in the mortal sense of the word.

I have another imaginary friend that represents the positive side of my personality, Leanne the Rock Troll, but she is much smaller than Norman at 2 inches and shrinking.

An extremely rare photograph of Norman in
his natural habitat -- Cronan's shoulder.


Go to the Online Tribute to Cronan Thompson.